I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You need Xanax blowdarts
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
