you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
