bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
