I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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