Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
