So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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