Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
