I wish I only lived at night.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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