Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
