Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
