Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
