Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
