I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
