We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
two words...techno handjob
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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