man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
