Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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