Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
