Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
