you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
