My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hippo gnu deer
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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