You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
