STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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