I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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