Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize