She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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