I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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