I could make wine with my vomit
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
