Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
In America we eat man semen.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
