he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
