Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
