i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
