You smell like stripper and shame
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
