Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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