Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
