What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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