you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
