Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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