i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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