Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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