if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
