i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
