this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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