All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize