i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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