Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
that's an acceptable place to lick
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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