You're my little dorito
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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