I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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