or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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