I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
how does that bad decision feel?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
