I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
