My liver just broke up with me...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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