you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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