grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
