Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
