Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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