the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
