you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize