Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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