I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize