just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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