Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
