Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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