I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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