i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
