My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
