I faked an abortion last night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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