I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
